I always wanted a younger brother or sister to take care of. Never knew what it was like to take care of such a small human being. Didn't know he could cry that hard, or scream so loud. Some days were unbearably hard to manage him, while others it broke my heart to see him cry when I was about to go.
Tyler's family recently moved into a new home. It's magnificent, and huge. White marble tile, spacious kitchen, french shutters mounted on all the windows. Anyone would say that it's nicer than their old place. But secretly I miss the house where we spent most of our days together. It was small, cramped perhaps. But to me, the new place pales in comparison. The marble tile feels cold compared to the dingy white carpet we used to run around on. The kitchen doesn't carry laughter through the rest of the house the way the old one did. And the light? The light streamed in beautifully through the old white curtains. Now it can't get through the wooden shutters.
These days, everyone wants the bigger and better things in life. But what about the old, the used? It makes me sad to think of the old house, sitting there with no one wanting to make it their home. But on to the bigger picture.
I have concluded the following:
1. It is better to be the dingy toy that one child falls in love with than to be the shiny new toy that hundreds of children want.
2. It is better to wait a while for the dingy toy than to buy the shiny new one that you will eventually tire of.
3. Realize that it takes a while to find the dingy toy.
Today was different, and I didn't realize until now. You see, today I was the one holding back tears as I said goodbye, and he was the one trying to console me with his cheeky little grin before I drove away. He's growing up so fast, and I feel as though I'm stuck.
With June coming so soon, I think that I'm ready to grow up too.
I'm just not ready to say goodbye.
