Roads

My room has become a cave of sorts.  Today I spent the morning sitting on the floor of the library, reading a stack of cookbooks.  Tonight, my tum hurts (what else is new!) and Hillsong is attempting to appease it in the background.

I feel...out of it.  Felt out of it for quite a while.  Like, seriously six months since I last wrote?  Some friends wonder why I haven't called them in weeks...and I'm thinking, didn't we talk last Tuesday?  Time tracking is usually not this bad, but wow it's been bad.  Sorry guys.

Something on my mind- each year that passes, I feel a little bit of something sucked out of me.  Energy, hope, time, I don't know what it is.  But I always miss the year that came before, and what left with it.  In a way, I miss all that was, and it's a battle each day trying not to anymore.   I feel like a child trapped in a grown-up's body, but with strange thoughts sometimes and always, the impulse to be free.

On another note, I'm thinking of writing something.  Not unlike the things I write on here, random thoughts here and there, but more of a story about unrequited love.  "Roads to You."  Something like that.